by Belinda Roddie
Dear Friends, Family, and Loved Ones,
What a year it's been for the Dubreau family! We are so happy to be sending you another letter of warm wishes for the holidays and good fortune for the months to come. In honor of 2016, let's see how far each of the Dubreaus has come.
Ronald Dubreau, Sr., is delighted to announce that he has just finished his butcher apprenticeship in November. After many thankless years working as a computer engineer, he has been cheerily chopping up and tenderizing the delicious meaty treats that we omnivores all adore to eat. He will be speaking with a loans consultant about opening up his own butcher shop, where he plans to sell enormous racks of lamb, whole chickens, and boar's heads. He highly recommends the Dubreau Roast he will be specializing - it's delicious! The secret ingredients are love and a healthy patriarchal environment.
Cynthia Dubreau has been busy renovating the family home. Using her passion for design and interest in ancient cultures to her advantage, she has managed to turn the living room into a Roman colosseum, where the boys like to stage gladiatorial combat, and is planning on making the kitchen double as a bunker for the inevitable nuclear destruction of humanity. Lilac is the in color for the walls, and don't forget the wine cellar! It's also equipped with an open chamber for rituals.
Ronald Dubreau, Jr. (or "Little Ronnie," as we like to call him), is now over six feet tall and just finished college a semester early! He is interested in continuing his education and is applying for Warlock Academy. It's highly esteemed for producing the most qualified sorcerers, mages, wizards, and enchanters in the country. Little Ronnie would like his emphasis to be in necromancy and the dark arts. With luck, he should be able to resurrect his deceased cat, Rusty, by the end of his freshman year! He sure loved that old tabby.
Craig Dubreau is halfway through eighth grade, and he is becoming more dwarven by the day. Just two days ago, Ronald Sr. caught him rummaging through the Christmas stockings for gemstones, and his beard is coming along quite nicely! We knew that Grandpa Grimm's genes were present in him from the moment he turned four - now we know he'll make a fine warrior dwarf in time for high school. Difficult to find ladies who can sport facial hair as well as he does, though - and take him on in the colosseum room!
Last, but not least, Susan Dubreau just turned five years old. She's been eating more crayons, and she is becoming a lovely shade of purple and pink. Ronald Sr. and Cynthia try to encourage her to devour even more colors of the rainbow so she can attain its powers. Everyone knows that the more red you eat, the more fire you can spew! That's why Ronald Sr.'s Dubreau Roast is always as bloody as it can be. Pyromancers need lots of beef and ink!
Well, that's it for now. We hope you'll come to visit our humble home in the next year. Stay tuned for more updates, especially when Rusty is exhumed and reanimated. We hope his bone structure remains uncompromised!
Cheers and Happy New Year,
the Dubreau Family
P.S. Bruce, the pet death adder, hisses a happy hello!
There was no provided prompt tonight on account of New Year's Eve and my desire to write a story based on an idea I've had for a while. Here's hoping for a healing, productive, and successful 2017, everyone. Let's hope no one in power mucks it up too much.