Gritty Details

Friday, May 12, 2017

Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection

Well. This is it. Tonight, I finally get to reveal what I've been super vague about. The big update to my life that I hope will lead to a great new adventure full of learning and success.

Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary lovelies...I am ridiculously gay.

Oh, no, sorry. That part's painfully obvious. Moving on.

The real news is: I have a new job! I will be teaching tenth grade English and Yearbook at a public high school in a nearby county. I start in August, and my wife and I will be moving as close as possible to the campus. It's a big change, and I'm very excited.

I'm also extremely terrified. For a number of reasons - some legit, some irrational.

For starters, I now have to say goodbye to Fusion Academy, where I have taught English and Social Studies for two years. The time I have spent at this small but mighty school has been invaluable, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. I have grown so much as a teacher and a person, and leaving my staff and administrative team was the hardest decision I've had to make so far in my life.

But hey, at least I get to teach there for three more months! Anything to postpone the inevitable.

Another concern is holy crap, I've never done yearbook before. Yearbook is notorious for being a lot of work and creating a lot of stress. I'm excited to teach English, but putting together hundreds of pages and making a presentable annual book for a high school that's good enough for students to want to buy is absolutely nervewracking. Yes, my students ultimately are responsible for the final project, but I'm the goddamn advisor. While I know this will be a new and fun experience for me, I also am aware of the high expectations that this school has. I hope I don't mess it up.

And of course, any change is hard to deal with. I have lived in the same apartment for three and a half years. I've gotten used to living in my county and have a small but strong circle of local friends. While I'm not moving that far away, just the process of moving itself is always frustrating and anxiety-inducing - and expensive! It's a new place and a new job and a new set-up and just...I'm obviously wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

No, I know I'm doing the right thing.

...I hope I'm doing the right thing.

I mean, a salary, health benefits, retirement benefits, and clearing my credential? That's always good.

A new school with students who need empathetic, creative, young teachers like me to thrive and learn from so they can actually enjoy what they're learning? That's really good.

A chance to begin a new step in my life and move ever closer to my wife's and my plan to start a family? That's amazing.

Yes, I'm scared. Yes, I'm leaving some wonderful people and an incredible school behind. And hey, if it all goes to pot, I can always go back.

But for now, I'm moving forward.

And I'm glad that you all can share in this adventure with me.

Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

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