Gritty Details

Friday, July 7, 2017

Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection

Hi, everyone!

So...I've officially moved! Well, almost. While this will be my wife's and my first night staying at the new place, we do still need to get some odds and ends out of our former apartment. But by the end of the week, we'll be able to say we've officially moved out of our apartment into our condo.

There's obviously a lot we're still navigating physically and mentally. In terms of physical adjustment, in some ways, the condo is smaller. We don't have as much cabinet space in the kitchen, and the living room is significantly reduced size-wise. However, we did live in our former apartment with my sister for almost two years, and it is nice to be in a home that's cozier (yeah, I know, it's a nicer word for smaller) and has less to clean. Plus, we have a lot more closet space, an outside yard area, and access to a shopping center about a five minute walk away.

Also, I can totally walk to work now. The commute to my new job is nothing.

Mentally, I'm definitely still getting used to the new space. It doesn't help that a lot of stuff remains unpacked and that being in an upstairs bedroom means it's gonna be hot as balls while trying to sleep tonight (stupid summer. Grrr). Also, my commute to work at my current job for the next month is gonna be Hell on Earth. And the icing on the not so delicious cake is that I'm pretty far away from most of my friends now, so...that kind of sucks.

It all adds up to the same doubt and anxiety I've always had when things change. Have I made the right decision? Will I still be able to live comfortably and do what I love? What if the choices I've made wind up costing me a lot more than I bargained for?

It's happened before; I've been employed at two jobs in my life that did not work out, but there was little damage overall to my journey forward, mostly because I was still living with my parents at the time. Not having this job work out - especially since it's at what is definitely an awesome school with tremendous opportunities to grow as a teacher - could seriously harm me career-wise and emotionally. Plus, the town I live in now is the kind of town where you can take a shit, and people know what you ate for dinner that night. Sorry, kind of crude, but accurate. So I can't exactly fuck up.

Then again, I couldn't just remain in the status quo, either. And that's why taking risks is always difficult, but required.

Everyone around me is confident that I'll do well, and that's what I plan to happen. I want to expect the best, not the worst. I want to improve my craft and make a difference at this high school. I love my new town, and my new condo is great in so many ways. I want to make this work.

I will make this work.

But for now, I've got a month left at my other job, a yearbook camp to attend in two weeks, and some curriculum preparation to take care of.

Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

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